curious to live

I don't know exactly if it's time to write about a phase that I often just don't tell. Which I would so often like to forget. Isn't it the beauty of a new beginning to be able to completely reinvent yourself? But how do we know if it's the right time for something? - We will feel it.

And I don't want to forget anymore. I want to talk about it. Because this time has also led me to exactly where I am right now. Not just physically. I am in a place that I had so often moved back and forth in my mind again and again, and again. What might it be like in this distant Australia? These thoughts were so often distant and intangible.

It took quite some time until I was ready to start this journey. Until I could take the first step out of my bed with my own strength. With courage and curiosity, what will await me out there in this world.

Where do you see yourself in one year? I wanted to see myself on the beach under palm trees. - And here I am.

Not only physically did I start this journey. No, also inwardly.

After about 5 months of emptiness, anxiety, and endless fatigue, I could see that I was not going to make it out of this big hole of depression on my own. And so I decided to stay in the clinic for 6 weeks. What were 6 weeks after 5 months of stagnation? After days, weeks, months, which passed me by. Without even setting a foot outside the door or having even a small emotion. Everything seemed too big and out of reach. And suddenly there was no turning back. No hiding and no excuses. I had to deal with myself. Every day - like a full time job take care of me and feel there again and again. Get back in touch with myself and the world. I don't want to say that those weeks were easy for me. And yet I would like to say that it is the best thing that could have happened to me. Looking back, I see how the curiosity and joy came back. How I felt like going outside again. Not only that, I could hear the birds chirping again and the meadow of flowers outside my window brought a smile to my face.

It was clearer than ever, I needed to follow my heart and my desires again. The one where I feel alive and want life. I had to travel again.

Und so bin ich heute hier- im fernen Australien - und genieße es mehr denn je. Jeden Tag aufs neue. Jeder Tag ist ein kleiner Neubeginn. Voller Wunder und Überraschungen, Erlebnissen und Abenteuer. Und ich bin mitten drin. Manchmal kann ich es kaum glauben. Dass ich diesen Schritt wirklich gegangen bin, sich alles in mir so sehr verändert hat und ich es Morgens kaum erwarten kann, bis der neue Tag anbricht und ich ausgeruht und voller Energie leben darf.

Ich möchte in dir nicht das Gefühl von Mitleid erwecken oder das Verlangen danach zu helfen. Ich möchte dir nur sagen, dass nicht alles immer so ist, wie es nach Außen hin scheint. Und ich möchte dir Mut machen, dass sich alles wieder verändern kann.

Wenn wir die Angst gegen die Neugierde tauschen und dem Leben mit offenen Armen entgegenlaufen - verändert sich was. In dir und um dich herum.

Lass und die Vorfreude auf das Unerwartete nicht vergessen und leben!

And so here I am today - in faraway Australia - enjoying it more than ever. Every day anew. Every day is a small new beginning. Full of wonders and surprises, experiences and adventures. And I'm right in the middle of it. Sometimes I can hardly believe it. That I have really taken this step, that everything in me has changed so much and that I can hardly wait in the morning until the new day dawns and I can live rested and full of energy.

I do not want to awaken in you the feeling of pity or the desire to help. I just want to tell you that not everything is always as it seems on the outside. And I want to encourage you that everything can change again.

If we exchange fear for curiosity and approach life with open arms - something changes. In you and around you.

Let's not forget and live the anticipation of the unexpected!